I’m not doing as well with synthesis in writing these days as my brain feels so tired, but I think keeping up with just jotting some things down is still a good practice. And sometimes personal practice is all something needs to be, and if it serves another purpose as well, then great!
Ever since I first was smitten w/this lady’s account/idea, I check in with it as a good reminder of the importance of 1) joy 2) movement (esp. when I don’t feel like it) 3) literal personal practices, whatever forms they may take
I had a wonderful birthday weekend — getting to see more friends than I have at one time for months. Nacho bar, a fantastically creepy piñata, some of my favorite small friends running around a yard that I’m really gonna miss (memories of when my friends first moved there, 10+ years ago), a super-fancy tea complete with rad lady posse and vintage touches, a downright magical cake, a friend in town from Chicago(!), a last-minute chance to see a different friend as Edna in Hairspray(!) and SO many hugs and thoughtful notes and gifts. Thank you, friends — you know me well and that makes me happy!
But although it made me happy, I kinda had a crash on Monday. Everything hurt. I’d say that these days, usually about 1/3-1/2 of me hurts, so this was a definite uptick. Hard to tell if or how exactly I overdid it. Was it just the level of activity? I kept things pretty chill — even took a 2 hours nap on Saturday! Was it the hour I spent putting in seedlings on Sunday? Was it just some random decision my body made? Was I just suddenly more aware of each ache because the “you’re going to feel SO tired” effects of the daily radiation was finally kicking in? The Drs. warned me that would happen around 2-3 weeks, but this isn’t how I thought it would feel.
It’s hard to decipher The Mystery of Feeling Hit By a Truck oftentimes.
Still, after a few days and all sorts of approaches and tweaks (acupuncture, rest, medicine, stretching, tons of sleep, nutrition changes), I’m feeling about back to current-normal. Which isn’t like, an ideal normal, but is still a “much better, OK I feel like I can handle some more of doing life things” state.
And there are more good things! I just noticed yesterday that my eyelashes are starting to come back! Although I don’t want to be overly ambitious, I’ve managed to begin some modest garden work for the season.
I had held off buying any sandals for the summer, scared that chemo was going to make my nails fall off (gross, I know, but it’s a common thing). Luckily, that is NOT a side effect that got me, so I excitedly bought a very grown up (VGU) pair of sandals. VGU means I paid more than $25 for these shoes. This feels weird for me, but I understand that now that my legs and knees feel like those of a 80 year old (No offense, octogenarians — that’s how my PA actually described it!), I should probably be wearing better quality shoes for awhile.
Oh! Also have some new hair — currently blonde until I reach the buzzcut stage, which I’m guessing will be somewhere around August or so. Fingers crossed!