The last two weeks I’ve gotten sent home from chemo
…due to low white blood cell counts. The first week, I tried not to let it phase me — it’s a pretty common thing to have happen. But then yesterday, we got my bloodwork results, and despite no chemo the week before…my counts were even LOWER.
So… that part isn’t as common. But it isn’t totally unheard of. It just means my body metabolizes Taxol very differently (over a longer period) than other people. My doctor has seen it before.
Can I say here that I am really thankful I have a super-smart doc who also has enough background and clinical experience to have seen/navigated something like this before? My Dr. is funny and humble and whip-smart and just very real and human. It’s not often you find all those things together in one doc.
We’ll do some more bloodwork next week and then hopefully restart a different chemo plan.
It’s a little weird to think you have this idea of what the next few months will hold, and then be in limbo to go into something different. But really, aren’t shifts like that just kinda, well… life? A good reminder to not get/think too far ahead of myself, for sure.
The good news
…is that although my immune function is still pretty low, and I’m still anemic, I’m not on as harsh of lockdown as I had initially put myself on. Still, given that 2/3 times I’ve had “moderately” low WBC counts I have picked up a cold during 1/2 days at work (despite obsessive hand-washing), I will probably still limit my exposure to spaces where the general public is hangin’ — which is kinda a bummer ’cause I find a weird comfort in grocery shopping. And as someone who geeks out about sound and images and media, I know tonight’s Nerd Nite with Ross and Martin is going to be a really fun one (special thanks to Sara and Elyse for holding down the fort on the NN-organizing front).
And I really miss shows. I’ll definitely appreciate being able to go to the next one I’m able to. For now, I’m just taking the time to revisit my records (thankful for that comfort), and though conceptually, reacting to each is an appealing idea, I’m just gonna keep my own rediscovery low-key.
The even better news
is that although it sucks to feel so wiped out, the theory goes that if the chemo is being THIS hard on my own cells, it’s also thoroughly kicking the ass of any sneaky cancer cells still hanging out and hiding anywhere. And that is GREAT, since chemo is really the best tool we have right now.
Sparky Coupon Report
The last week-and-a-bit has felt kinda tough. On top of all of the limbo and house-arrest and unknowns, my best-pup buddy and constant companion Sparky Coupon got a little too wild jumping around and hurt his tiny back.
The big relief is that he’s going to be OK, but he has to spend a lot of time forced to rest in his crate, and the medicine he’s on makes him sleepy. It’s hard to really let him know that even though it sucks right now, he will feel SO much better soon.
So, really, as I type this, I’m thinking — Sparky’s situation is kinda like mine, huh?
GIANT thanks to everyone who has sent along a recent note, something to read, or a little pick-me-up present. Again, I continue to be absolutely both humbled and held up by all the expressions of folks’ caring. It’s so amazing that I asked Jeremy yesterday if he was sure he didn’t bribe everyone to be so sweet to me! ❤
pic of something amazingly rad from some of my girl-gang…
3 thoughts on “On Pause…”
Keep up the fight, and I promise to keep sending cute pics your way! 😀
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My love to you to heal and to Mr. Sparky C to heal, too. And to Jeremy for being Jeremy. And to your doctor for being so awesome. xo
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